


Let The Right One In.

by thewriterpoe



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:51:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5310089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterpoe/pseuds/thewriterpoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kibum has this habit of sneaking into Jinki’s bed after the other’s fast asleep. Usually it’s okay because he’s makes sure to go back to his bed before Jinki wakes up. So he’s a little confused when he wakes up with the sun shining in his face because his room isn’t east facing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Right One In.

      Kibum wasn’t sure what his intentions were when he hovered over Jinki’s bed. It was 2am and he was just watching the rise and fall of the other’s chest as he slept soundlessly.

      It had been six weeks and things were still awkward between the roommates. It was a temporary arrangement – three weeks until the mold in Kibum’s apartment was completely treated – and while they were friendly, Kibum sensed a wall between them. Part of the distance stemmed from Kibum’s confession to Jinki that he liked him; and while Jinki acknowledged Kibum’s feelings, he didn’t offer any of his own. Kibum assured Jinki that there was no pressure to return his feelings, especially since he’d just gotten over a particularly bad breakup, but it was still frustrating because he’d sometimes catch Jinki pretending not to stare at him.

      It was the fifth time but Kibum still hesitated before slipping between Jinki’s sheets. As long as he got up first, Jinki wouldn’t have to know that he had been there. Jinki once told him that he would sleep through the end of the world. That’s why Kibum could place his head on Jinki’s shoulder, pressing his nose against the older man’s neck; then lightly wrap Jinki’s arm around his body.

       “Why won’t you like me?” Kibum whispered into the night before closing his eyes.

      It was the sun light in his face that woke Kibum up - which couldn’t be right because his room didn’t face the east. He squinted against the brightness, taking in the powder blue walls and the digital clock announcing the time. Seven fifty seven.

      “Shit!’ he bolted up, recognizing where he was. The bed was empty beside him. The dull sound of the blender whirling on spurred him into action as he tried to come up with a good enough reason as to why he was in Jinki’s bed.

      Kibum tiptoed into the living room having mentally prepared himself to be kicked out of the apartment.

      “Morning!” he announced his presence timidly.

      Jinki flinched before returning the greeting as though he hadn’t woken up with his roommate pressed snuggly into his chest.

      This made Kibum angry. Jinki was going to pretend nothing happened just like he was pretending that Kibum hadn’t told him that he had feelings for him.

      “Jinki, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Kibum blurted, forgetting his made up reason for being in Jinki’s bed. It only angered him more that Jinki had the same frightened expression he had when Kibum confessed to him.

      “What do you mean?”

      “Well, for someone who’s been avoiding me, you’re pretty casual about waking up and finding me in your bed.”

      “I haven’t been avoiding you,” Jinki protested.

      Kibum sighed heavily. “You never touch me; not even accidentally,” he said solemnly. It hurt Kibum’s pride to admit that this bothered him.

      Jinki opened his mouth to say something but closed it. It wasn’t something he could deny but he couldn’t explain it either. “It’s nothing to do with you,” Jinki offered looking downcast. “It’s me. It’s just how I am. I’m sorry it hurt you.”

      Kibum bit his lower lip to keep from smiling. “I’m sorry, too. For, you know, sleeping in your bed.”

      “This wasn’t the first time, was it?”

      Kibum’s cheeks flushed red. “No,” he admitted in a small voice.

      Jinki smiled warmly at him.  “Just don’t do it anymore.”

      *

      Things were a little better after that. Jinki didn’t actively avoid being around Kibum. They even had a lip-synced battle once. It was fun, and Kibum tried not the let the fact that Jinki tensed up whenever they touched upset him. It was enough that the air between them was less awkward even with Jinki’s occasional and wholly unexpected skinship.

      Progress!

      At least that’s what Kibum thought. He was sure he was hallucinating because Jinki had passed on going to the movies with him because he wasn't feeling very well. Still, Kibum had to make sure that the mop of hair peeking through the clear plastic of the tent bar wasn’t Jinki’s.

      It was Jinki and he was sat across from a man Kibum had never seen before, probably one of the other engineers at work that Jinki always talked about.

      “Oh!”  Jinki exclaimed when Kibum appeared at his table. He sounded…drunk but that couldn’t be right because Jinki didn’t drink.

      At least he looked guilty when he introduced the other man as a friend from college, quickly adding that Lee Joon was only in town for the night before he headed back to the Philippines.

      Kibum bowed and gave his greetings.

      “I think we’re more than that,” Joon scolded Jinki and Jinki pretended not to notice how Kibum flushed.

      “This is Kibum,” Jinki said quickly with emphasis as though hinting at something.

      “Oh! The roommate.” Lee Joon’s eyes widened in understanding and he had a smirk that made Kibum a little uncomfortable. Lee Joon suddenly howled in pain and Kibum saw Jinki’s foot retract from where it connected with Joon’s shin.

      “What are you doing here?” Jinki turned to Kibum.

      The question felt like an accusation and Kibum bit back to retort on his tongue. “I was passing by when I saw you,” Kibum answered, pointing ambiguously in the direction of the street.

      “Sit with us,” Joon said, dropping the honorifics.

      “I’m sure Kibum has other things he’d rather do,” Jinki interjected.

      Kibum’s eyes narrowed to deadly slits and Jinki swallowed visibly when Kibum slid into the seat beside him, saying he had time for a drink or two.

      Even though Joon was nice enough to include Kibum in their conversation, Kibum couldn’t help feeling left out. There was a whole side to Jinki’s life that he wasn’t a part of. Kibum felt his chest tighten as he noticed that Jinki wasn’t reserved when he spoke to Joon whereas he still slipped into honorifics when he spoke with Kibum. At first Kibum had thought it was part of the Jinki’s weird charm but now it was apparent that there were people with whom Jinki was comfortable with and Kibum wasn’t one of them. But worst of all was the way Jinki leaned into Joon’s touch when the other brushed the bangs out of Jinki’s eyes. Kibum knew it was irrational to be jealous;  two months couldn’t compare with five years of friendship, but  he didn’t want to have to wait  that long to reach that level of intimacy.

      After helping Joon back to his hotel room, Jinki and Kibum decided to take a taxi home. The ride was a quiet one with Kibum trying to reconcile the roommate he knew and the one he’d heard about that evening: the skinny dipping Jinki, the nudist colony Jinki, the cross dressing Jinki, the making out with a rock star Jinki. The more Kibum thought about it, the more upset he got. Not only did he feel that he didn’t know Jinki at all, he got the impression that Jinki didn’t want him to know – Jinki had had a hard time not letting his irritation at Joon show and the accelerated tapping on his knee with every passing minute only gave him away.

      “You’re quiet,” Jinki remarked as he closed the door to their apartment behind him.

      Kibum turned back and Jinki was suddenly very tense.

      “You don’t like me, do you?”

      “What?”

      “I mean I’ve asked you to go drinking with me before, even for an hour, but you always refuse. So I think that maybe you don’t drink. But then tonight I hear about the time you went drinking and woke up to find your car stalled in middle of a highway. Now I’m not saying that we should get fucking trashed but is it so hard to have ONE FUCKING DRINK WITH ME?” Kibum couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice. “Are you just tolerating me because you too fucking polite to tell me to fuck off?”

      Kibum waited for an answer. He desperately wanted Jinki to tell him that he had it all wrong but per usual, Jinki just stared at him with those frightened eyes, not saying anything.

      “I see,” Kibum said, voice and eyes brimming thick with emotion. “Sorry, I’m such a fucking nuisance.”

      He turned to storm into his room but his hand caught on something. He looked down and saw Jinki’s fingers curling tightly around his wrist.

      “What?” Kibum snapped when Jinki just stood there.

      Jinki had a pained look on his face. “I like you.”

      Kibum snatched his hand away. “Jinki, please -,”

      “I like you,” Jinki repeated, interrupting him. “But I can’t be with you.”

      Kibum watched him warily. “Why not?”

      “Because I don’t want to get hurt.”

      Kibum was a little stunned by the straight forward answer – no answering a question with a question. He stepped towards Jinki but Jinki stepped back. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said tenderly.

      Jinki laughed bitterly. “That’s not something you can promise. I could fall in love with you and you could walk away; and having touched you that memory will stay on my skin.”

      “Jinki, I don’t want to hurt you.”

      “That’s not good enough.”

      *

      It had only been ten minutes since Jinki went into his room, so Kibum knew he was not asleep even though he wasn't answering.

      “Jinki, let me in,” Kibum said kneeing on the bed.

      That spurred a reaction as Jinki sat up. “I told you not to come in here anymore,” he said harshly.

      Kibum bit his lip. “I don’t know who it was that hurt you but I’m not them…so let me in.”

      Kibum took off his shirt and Jinki eyes went wide.

      “Kibum, please,” he pleaded, catching the hand reaching out to touch him.

      “Let me in,” Kibum repeated, inching closer until his lips finally connected with Jinki’s.

      And even as Jinki was pinning Kibum’s hand back, he was yielding to the tenderness of the kiss, falling back against Kibum’s insistence for more until his grip relaxed; surrendering to the fear of having his heart broken again – because he was sure Kibum would break his heart.       


End file.
